Have Vs Have Not..

Saw a video in IBN and it says it all. In India there is a great divide is building between the have and have not. The rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer. This in a way is downside of democracy. Socialists hence say democracy dont work. But I seriously wonder if there is no middle path? A path where the loopholes of the system are not left exposed.



Guess there is a middle path and its called Social Democracy. Something worth considering before things run out of hand?

Helllllo! Anybody there?

India Shining - Oh! Really?

Well, India Shining is nothing new. India Shining is a collective name given to success achieved by India from past several years. India (along with China) is considered to be the fastest growing economies in the world today. It has been said that we are growing very well from past several years and also at a very good rate (one magic number is 8% GDP) and we will be a super power in some years from now.

Every time I see a report or documentary or read an article supporting the above claims, It makes me feel good. Note that I did not say I was jumping with joy or at least feel ecstatic about. No, its not because I had a flawed sense of patriotism but mainly because I had this scary thought in the back of my mind that the truth might just be contrastingly different. My positive belief was adding strength on strength with every success story being shown, with every magical number being thrown at me. Needless to say I was making every effort to evade that other thought which used to question this very progress with disturbing visuals that I used to see/hear/read. Obviously enough, with such overwhelming number of people with contrastingly different but very credible background (Media/Intellectuals/Analysts/Foreign Diplomats) going ga-ga over India Shining there was little chance for my day-to-day reality bites of contradicting nature to stake claim on bigger chunk of reality (As there was a chance that what I see might just be a isolated case(s) and there is no collective evidence supporting my reality bites from across length and breadth of country) .

So with hope (and lack of proof against hope) I always said to myself that things are getting better and better and one day very soon all will be really good. However there was always a fear in me - Was I closing my eyes from the truth? But I took confidence from the fact that I am not the only one who was seeing the India Shining. So the probability of a majority of people (which included mortals like me and also credible intellectuals and analysts) going wrong was less. This was until I saw a nationwide report shown on our good old website IBN. I have the same report here for you ...



This video makes my worst fears alive and easily destroys my hope and this Image of India created by this India shining campaign.

Phew! What next? :-/

Embarrassing or what?

Background:

As a part of my work I was moved from my very comforting Bangalore to very near by place - London. Everything about London was alien to me - be it traveling in underground or answering back a fast 'good morning, how are you doing?' wish from colleagues (I always wondered on why they clubbed a wish and a question together? So hard on us). However by far the most difficult about being in London was that at times had to understand some fast and pretty tough English accent thrown at my mind. It's a tough challenge considering the speed at which my mind reacts.

I had this person - Mr.K (Not My project mate, From Australia, Tough Accent, Unpredictable) who used to sit in front of me. He was known in our (Boys from Bangalore) circle to be a person who has a very tough accent to follow. As I and Mr.K were not related by the project we work, we seldom spoke to each other. Also with his huge reputation of tough English and my inherent weakness, I avoided all possible ways of talking to him. However things were not easy and straight to me. I was always interested in photography and was planning to buy a canon 400D DSLR camera. So I used to ask series of questions on canon 400D (and best way to buy it) to Mr.B (My project mate, From Australia, Easy Accent, Travel Freak) as he had an SLR already. He either used to answer me cleanly or (on my bad day) used to pull Mr.K into conversation (As Mr.B and Mr.K were best buddies in office and had lots interests in common).

It was so tough for me to follow Mr.K that most of the times I used to plainly guess on what he is saying/said based on one or two words I happen to understand and react/reply based on that. On a very bad day he had to repeat himself without a 'Pardon/Sorry' from me (as I am not used to it or it may be because I would be too busy thinking on what he just said).I just wonder how he got to repeat his question just from my stare? - Call it wonderful non-verbal communication? Anyways, I am really sorry for him.

Even though our interactions were between few and far, they were challenging to say the least. Moreover they always left me with a scary thought that the worse is yet to come.

The Event :-(

And unfortunately it came...

On that fateful day Mr.K had already there beside Mr.B for discussing something which I have not bothered to listen. As I remember, I had just got up from my seat for routine visit to men's room. Clearly, I don't know what happened next. Before I woke up from my slumber and realize anything Mr.K had already finished asking a question and looking at me for an answer . Unlike the previous times this time I could not catch even one word of the question (Don't ask how I missed it. I swear! I have no clue). it may be because it was a one word question, or may be a moment which swallowed a series of moments without my notice (But Damn! how can this happen?).

Whatever may be my justifications for not getting (even a word of) the question thrown at me, now I had to answer the question which I had no clue about. Unfortunately, on that day Mr.K was in no mood to repeat his question just by seeing my blank face (or may be I did not pose with my blank face for long enough). Also my presence of mind had gone for a toss that day and I did not think of asking 'I beg your Pardon/I am sorry'. Added to it, my ever reliable ally - My Instinct let me down and I just said - "Yes".

Yes! I said Yes, without knowing the question (How can I do this? How can I just say Yes to an unknown question? I mean the question at that moment could have been anything, anything from 'Did you delete that code?' or 'Did you date my GF?' or something still worse). But before I realized these I had already said Yes, and it was too late. Only thing I could have done is to hope that they accept the answer and get on with their discussion (Ideally I would have liked them to go far way from me for a while).

Things did not end there as my luck touched a new low that day. Mr.B who was turning towards Mr.K turned towards me and asked (I guess) 'Did you?' (Or something similar to that which was again very short). Now that I have told 'Yes' and I felt I had to repeat my mistake with another stupid 'Yes' (Look at my dilemma. You May think I should have asked 'Pardon/Sorry' at least then? But I thought it was too late for that) and so I repeated again - 'Yes'.

Unfortunately enough Mr.B was looking at my monitor, so I made a guess (an atrociously stupid one too) that he was asking something about the document displayed on my monitor (but how can this be? I mean this was the same question Mr.K asked and at that time Mr.K was no way near to my monitor). But as I had made that assumption I said (Scrolling down the document) 'Yes, This is done by us' or 'Yes! We have completed it' (Don't remember much on what I said). Visibly frustrated Mr.B then asked the real question (for which I had said 'Yes'), however this time with action, using both hands so that I really 'get' the question.
'Did you buy the Camera?' ... And I said 'Camera! No No Noooooo'

However by then It had turned out to be an epic embarrassment for me. Mr.K was no longer interested as he had come to know that I had just answered a question I never understood. I had only one option, the option that was not there, the option to be an Ostrich from a human being. An option of digging a hole and burying my head in that hole for a while. Alas! I could not.

In the end, I felt that after all the end was not as bad as it could have been. It could have been worse if question was something like 'Who dated my wife yesterday? - You?'. But for once I realized that don't answer to a question you have never listened/understood else you could be punished for deleting the code which you are not aware of or dating someone's wife whom you have not met..

Been there, Done that (Off...At last)

Just when I was coming back from a near by shop after buying a kannada weekly I found this guy carrying a plastic cement bag holding it with care at a distance from his body. I got it that he was carrying a creature to dispose it off and could see him clearly keeping a very good distance from it. But the scream of the latter was new for me. New enough to puzzle me and bring back life to my dead curiosity and that curiosity dragged my body to him to see what it is, Still wondering what it can be? I peeped in

Guess what? It was a small Bat [:)]. I was happy to see a bat so close esp when what I was doing all my life was running away from it. But all this joy waded away as I could clearly notice that the bat was really very weak. It was time to kill the normal human in me, who at such situations prefer to escape with a sympathetic shake of head and sad face, but this time I really wanted to help. Of late I had found myself doing things that I would not have pushed myself to do, but such occasions were few and far in between. Also in this situation I was clueless on what to do. But the man was busy trying to dispose off the bat as though his life depended on that action. Also a passing dog stopped and started watching our activity with great interest as though it has found a fresh breakfast after ages of wait. I asked him to wait or at least dispose it in the near by compound where no other animal can eat it so easily, esp. I was skeptical about that dog finding a fresh bat as its breakfast. But even that suggestion was pathetic considering the bats rest upside down from a tree branch or similar stuff and also in dark. My suggestion was no where near what that bat needed. Yes, I was clueless.

But the guy was afraid of it and said “idu kannannu Kukkutante” (It will come and hit our eyes). Sad to see the amount of awareness in us about our surroundings and animals (or is it that I am ignorant?). He did sound as if he created that creature, and with the purpose that he said. Even if I do consider that Bats are born to hit the eyes of humans, A little bit of common sense if used on first look at that exhausted bat shows that it was barely fighting to survive, may be it will come back to serve the purpose of its life (read as ‘hitting human eyes’)

I was still clueless, took the bag from him and tried to drop it on a near by plant, But how can a bat which hang itself upside down can hold on to leaves of a plant? I could see that I was dry on ideas when I was doing a savior act. But the other guy relentless on droping it soon took his steel weapon and forced it down into the dry canal. It was lying with its back to sky. Seriously it had no energy to lift itself. It had 'I am in pain' written all over it. I felt sad, very sad indeed. I questioned him on why was he in such a hurry? But as he had not promised anyone that he will answer my question, he walked away with his priced procession – plastic cement bag. I continued with my clueless state on what to do next? I saw an ant visiting this exhausted bat and return back, I could here the plan in the ants mind on its next course of action on how to dismantle the bat and parcel it to home. It was on its way to its comrades. I too felt sorry for the bat and left for my home, I had to catch my bus else will surely be struck in another traffic jam, seriously it was not worth wasting my time as I could not have done anything about it. I walked few steps and normally I would have continued. Generally I have given all the justification for why the bat is dying and why I did not help it, they might sound like 'Oh! This is Life', 'its time had come', 'Luck is cruel, some die early some die late and we can’t help it', 'I dont have the experience to help it', 'Its too late to help it'. But that day I felt like there was no option left; all these justifications were somewhat remote from me. I had thought of doing something about it. Though clueless on what to do with it, I was sure that canal cannot be the best place for the bat to rest. So I placed the ‘Taranga’ (Kannada magazine) I had below the bat and helped it on that. I was still scared even though my sense said otherwise, like the other guy I am also human. But I had the guts (should I add courage and bravery too? :-/) to take it home. With every step I was wondered “Now what?”

I wanted to restore normalcy and allow it to rest. I placed it on nearby flat bed. I could see how difficult it is for the bat to sit on a flat bed, just like I can’t hang on trees and branches day in and day out. Something flashed; I could see a stick round the corner. Seriously, if one really want to do something, one really can. But all we do is cover up our unwillingness with a dirt of various justifications. I took that stick and placed it near the legs of the bat. I liked the way it got into its usual position (upside down). It was really great. I slowly took it to the corner of my home and hanged it just like my shirt on a hanger :). Gently it closed its wings to cover its face and started to rest. I could still see its body was mud ridden but was scared to touch it. And I had no clue about how a bat looks up close let alone how to handle it. I was also skeptical about there reaction to human touch and more. So I left the space for it to rest. After few minutes I could not resist seeing it again so went back. It was still resting. I blew a mild air on it, it screamed mildly (I was not sure if the bat was scolding me or thanking me). I removed the hair hanging from its body, and started talking to it. What amazed me were its big big eyes, it was so wonderful.

I had to catch my bus so had to leave. On my way to office I was scared, scare of cats which pass by, the maid who cleans the cloths near by, the crows. All this apprehensions were a part of me till I reached home late evening. I had no clue on what happened to it. My aunt said it few away in the evening after screaming for some parts of the day. I felt so happy, It was a very satisfying effort.

I am happy to have interacted with a bat so closely. It was truly a very nice experience. So Now I am sure that next time if I come across such situation, I will never wait. I will jump in. Though I dont want such situations to repeat for these poor creatures around us, but its almost inevitable. is it not?

Selfishness dumbfounded ...

This is the conversation that I had with my bigger brother, Santhosh that made a lasting impression on me,
this happened few years back when my brother had just bought a pair of woodland shoes worth 2000/-
and I was bit unfomfortable seeing him paying so much for a shoe then ...
and It led to following conversation

Me: "Anna, don't you think 2000 is too huge a sum to pay for a shoe ?"

Anna: "No, this is from woodland. Its quality is good"

Me: "But, still I would have taken a 1000 RS shoe and would have done something else with the other part .."

Anna: "..Like ?"

Me: " ... Hamm ... Donating to cry or such organization or ...."

Anna: "Wait! ... Why do you want to do that ?"

Me: "well...We need to help the needy, alwa ?"

Anna: "hmmm .... What will you get out of doing it ?"

Me: "what will I get ? Nothing ... Actually I loose 1000 Rs .."

Anna: "No, you get happiness out of doing that .. alwa ?"

Me: "hmmmm..... May be .."

Anna: "what may be ? .. think over it. You would not have done if you have not got happiness .."

Me: "Hmmmm.....May be true. But... We are doing good for others .. And doing a sacrifice .."

Anna: "..Do whatever, you are just buying happiness for yourself ... And anything you do for yourself is selfishness !!!"

Me: "Selfishness ???"

Anna: "Yes, but only means of satisfying ourselves are different, that's it .. "

Anna: " my means of happiness is a 2000 Rs shoe and yours is donating the same amount to some one .."

Anna: " if you see the end result in mind, in both cases ..Just that means of achieving them are different .. Ha ha"

Anna: "get this that ultimately both are selfishness !!!"

... And I was dumbfounded ....

And I got it ....
I got that both actions(my brothers and mine) are out of pure selfishness ...
and are to satisfy the EGO ... just the means are different ...
and any act that springs to satisfy the EGO ... irrespective of end result/actions taken ..is an act to boast itself(EGO) at various levels ... and nothing else :-(

.. and I am waiting for the day when my actions are not just to satisfy the self/Ego ...
but till then struggle continues ..